Music to Clown By

Every time a show opening comes around, I always mean to do a few things.

1. Invite directors.  Even if they don't show up, at least they know I'm working. 

2. Invite my friends.  I mean, at LEAST send out an email, right? 

3. Make a cake, or cupcakes, or cookies or something to bring my cast for opening night.  Maybe even write out cards like some people do. 

4. Update my damn website with opening weekend news, ticket links, etc.

 

I mostly failed. 

1. I invited directors who I'd recently auditioned for only.  Unless you count adding them to the Facebook invite, which isn't exactly personal.

2. Ditto...Facebook invite.

3. Cards?  Oh crap, I can't even do birthday cards for close family.  I'm just not good at writing sentiment down.  And I ran out of time to do any baking whatsoever. 

4. EPIC FAIL.

 

What did I do instead?  I made an epic playlist based on the show and its characters.  Seriously, I spent HOURS making this damn playlist perfect.  If you'd like to hear it, click on the links below.  I've included my notes about the playlist, with quotes from the show. 

Crazyface Playlist Act I

1. Entry of the Gladiators...The classic circus song.  To start off the show.

2. Send in the Clowns by Barbara Streisand...Because everyone is a fool, truly.

3. Earth Angel by The Penguins...This is the song Derek sings to himself about his character, and it's only fitting for an angel doomed to roam the earth.  "Mama says you don't exist"  "That's heresy!  I'm an ANGEL!"

4. Broken Wings by Mr. Mister...What a terrible fucking song.  Seriously.  It's awful.  But it fits.  Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free.

5. Visions by Saintseneca..."You mean like in a vision?"  "It's all vision...there's nothing real at all."

6. The Gravedigger's Song by Mark Lanegan Band..."Gravedigger...you look like a strong boy."

7. Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers...Alvarez is a man who leads a life of danger. 
 

8. Apocalypse Please by Muse..."This is it now, of course."  "Of course.  The deluge."  "The apocalypse." 
 

9. Counting Stars by OneRepublic...Annie is stargazing.

10. Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson...Ain't no sadder thing than the tears of a clown

11. Bolivar...such a nice appropriate bolero-style circus song for going into the Spanish court.  Ole!

12. Chocolate by La Pegatina...Todos quieren el chocolate!

13. Rain King by Counting Crows..."Taste the rain, Mengo!  God is pissing on us today because he fears we may have heaven again!"

14. Witch by Bird and the Bee..."You sure she's a witch?"

15. Burn the Witch by Queens of the Stone Age..."Take her with you.  You can burn together."

16. Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson...Annie almost gets raped but is saved by Crazyface: "Annie are you okay?" 

17. Outlaws by Sir Psyko and His Monsters..."Bout time we had a flood or a lynching or a visit from some friendly bandits."

18. Hell Broke Luce by Tom Waits...OH SHIT.  Mengo just set Lenny luce on the world.  We're all fucked.

19. White Wedding by Billy Idol...Nice day for a white wedding.

20. March of the Pigs by Nine Inch Nails..."Pigs inside and out!"

21. War Pigs by Black Sabbath..."They're killing the pigs! There's blood coming down like rain!"

22. Clowns: The Booster (An American Rag)...Intermission music

 

Crazyface Playlist Act II

1. Liberty Horses...the meat's a little tough and they sass back

2. The Pocket of a Clown by Dwight Yoakam...I imagine the pockets of clowns are kinda yucky places, and are bottomless besides. 
Full of fake flowers, tied handkerchief chains, and pickled herring.  YUM

3. Angel Baby by Rosie and the Originals..."If you don't stop seeing angels, you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble." 

4. Rock Lobster by the B52s..."The fattest and the finest"

5. Up On Cripple Creek by The Band..."I'm very suspicious of so many cripples.  Maybe they're breeding somewhere."

6. You're So Vain by Carly Simon..."Hear that?  She's got lace underwear!"

7. Fight Song by The Aquabats..."I...am NOT...PEOPLE!"

8.  Everybody Loves a Clown by Gary Lewis and the Playboys...poor Crazyface

9. I Fucking Hate You by Godsmack..."I hate you.  I've always hated you."  This is what Lenny's brain sounds like on a nice day.

10. Lola by The Kinks..."This isn't a woman!"  "It's the best we could get you at this short notice."

11. Gallows Pole by Led Zeppelin..."What's that?"  "Final adjustments to the gallows."

12.  Chocolate Jesus by Tom Waits..."EAT."

13. Sabotage by the Beastie Boys..."We can't all be winners." 

14. God's Away On Business by Tom Waits..."The Pope sees no one."

15. Mama I'm Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne..."The right wind can take you anywhere, more or less...anywhere you want..even home."

16. Blackbird cover by Sarah McLachlan..."Mama, another bird"

17. Grand Finale: Barnum and Bailey's Favorite

Bonus Tracks:
18. Cathy's Clown by the Everly Brothers...for Crazyface

19. Black Wings by Tom Waits...it SO fits Lenny, but my whole playlist would have been Tom Waits if I wasn't careful.

20. Chocolate Rain by Tay Zonday...it's a terrible song, but it fits the court of Spain...

21. Don't Send In The Clowns from Space Ghost...because it bookends the whole playlist, and Space Ghost is awesome.

Crazy Talk

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Announcement:  I have just recently started rehearsals for Crazyface with Shadow Horse Theater.  This fun show, written by none other than Clive Barker, will run July 10-26th at Nimbus Theatre in Minneapolis. 

I think they cast all of Minneapolis in this show...

I think they cast all of Minneapolis in this show...

The cast includes Andy Schnabel as Crazyface, as well as Derek Meyer, Matt Saxe, Megan Noel Johnson, Corey Ryan Boe, Derek Dirlam, Fawn Wilderson-Legros, Matt Kelly, Angela Walberg, Audrey Callerstrom, Ethan Bjelland, David Otto Simanek, Jay Kistler, Shana Eisenberg, Ilana Kapra, Earl Milton, Joel Raney, Jane Hammill-Golembeck and Joe Heaney.


Director: Paul von Stoetzel

More info to come!

*Note:  I saw this show when Mary Worth Theatre did it over 10 years ago, and I loved it so much I saw it twice.  I can only hope that we can match even half the brilliance of their amazing production.  We definitely have some large theatrical clown shoes to fill with this one!

Doctored Up

As an actor, one thing the majority of actors rarely talks about is the survival job. We'd usually rather pretend that our serving/admin/telemarketing/bankteller/receptionist job or other menial servitude doesn't exist. 

Well, I have four. 

One of my survival jobs for the past three years has been working as a standardized patient, or in layperson's terms, I play pretend and use my acting skills for medical school, vet school, dental school and law school simulations for the betterment of our country's future lawyers and medical professionals.  It's a really fun job most of the time.  I have given birth to water-filled rubber babies, I have been a bank executive, I have been a pregnant teen smoker... Always a fun new challenge. 

I have been doing a lot of these lately, and this week I have had three full physicals a day.  I'm happy to say that the first year medical students say I'm healthy, but then again, they don't always phrase things in a way that's entirely appropriate.  And some things, taken out of context, can sound downright dirty. 

So, I present to you:

"Ten Things I've Heard As A Standardized Patient That Sound Extremely Dirty)"

1.  I'm just going to come from around the back.

2. Nice vasculature!

3. Can you turn around and bend forward?

4. I just have to get under your pantyline.

5. You have a really great optic disc.

6. I'm going to stick my hand in your mouth.

7. This is everyone's least favorite part. (Pulls on rubber gloves)

8. You have a strong femoral pulse.

9. I'll give you something to swallow.

And, my personal favorite:

10.  Close your eyes.  I'm just going to rub this on you, and you tell me where you feel it.

The Giant Spider Playing This Week at the Riverview Theater!

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Did you miss The Giant Spider at one of its other screenings?  There's a fun event this week at the Riverview Theater in Minneapolis, and you can catch the film there! 

Check it out below!

We will be holding the first official Uncle John's Burger Dog launch party at 7:00 PM on Thursday, March 13th at the Riverview Theater in Minneapolis, MN!

This event is open to the public and all attendees will be treated to Uncle John's Burger Dogs served by the "Burger Dog girls" and a free screening of the award-winning Mihmiverse film which served as the inspiration for the Uncle John's Burger Dog, "The Giant Spider!" We will also be selling frozen packages of Uncle John's Burger Dogs at the event!

Advance tickets are now available! Tickets are $7 each and include admission to the event and one (1) food ticket to receive a single Uncle John's Burger Dog (bun and condiments included)!

AND, as a special deal only available through the Uncle John's Burger Dog website, for an additional $3, you can pre-order an extra food ticket which can be redeemed for a second Uncle John's Burger Dog at the event!

For more information or to puchase advance tickets, visit unclejohnsburgerdog.com!

OHMYGODIFINALLYHAVEANEWWEBSITEGUYS!

I'm excited, can you tell?

I'm looking forward to this fresh start, having a nice clean new space to share things...thoughts on theatre and film and performance in general, and perhaps occasionally on marketing for the arts...the work I'm doing and that I've got coming up...silly pictures of me being goofy...whatever!

The new site means that I've moved into a brave new world where people like me, who don't spend as much time on their computers as they do on their portable Apple products, will be able to see my website!  No more Flash animations!