Oh hi there…welcome back.
Maybe you should be saying that to me. I feel like I’ve been away for a GOOD long time.
Right up front, I’ll share with you…I’ve been in a weird place lately.
The year started off well, with plans and certain stuff in place that felt like good movement forward…and then I got laid off from my part time job that was the regular income that sustained me when voiceover work was inconsistent (which it can be, even for the people I know who have been doing it a lot longer than I).
Since then, I’ve felt a bit adrift.
I’m looking for something to fill the hole that my part time job left behind, but nothing has materialized fully yet.
I have goals and dreams that involve learning new business skills (like building landing pages and sales funnels) but I don’t have the expendable income to invest in learning them the fast way (through a built-for-you product or a course), so instead I’m trying to piecemeal it together with the information I can find on the internet. But that can very easily get overwhelming and has led to me shelving my work on it altogether while I focus on auditioning and looking for a part time job.
Yet, what I keep coming back to is:
Working for someone else’s goals just isn’t serving me anymore.
And then recently, I had a health scare (I’m fine), and then Covid (I’m fine), and now I’m just re-emerging into the world. But there’s always something. There always will be something.
To be honest, voiceover has been going really well, but the inconsistency and constant uncertainty can lead to a lot of stress.
A fellow voice actor friend of mine recently wrote about this on LinkedIn and credited me for inspiring her to double down (thanks, Jess!) because I guess I can sometimes say things that are inspiring. If I do, it’s usually because I need to hear them as well.
Sometimes we have to give ourselves the support that we don’t get from others.
Let me start by saying, I love my family.
But I grew up with very blue collar, farm-family Midwestern parents. Germanic. Stolid. If you’re from that background, then you might know the type I mean.
I wasn’t coddled as a child, and neither were my parents. My mom played with a sewing machine once when she was supposed to be napping, got the needle stuck THROUGH her thumbnail, and when she started wailing, my grandmother came, put a bandaid on it, spanked for for misbehaving, and sent her back to bed. Another aunt accidentally took a DIRTY PITCHFORK into the knee, and my grandmother didn’t take her to the doctor until the next day when it swelled up more than two times its normal size.
My grandmother was not heartless, by any means. She was a lovely woman. But the family was very poor with thirteen kids, she was a nurse, and so raising them became a very practical affair. If they weren’t near death, they weren’t going to the hospital.
Given those stories (and so many more) from my mom’s generation, I am grateful to have had a slightly milder form of this style of upbringing.
A lot of us didn’t get the emotional support we needed as kids. Our parents were just trying to keep us from sticking forks into outlets, sticking our fingers in the fan (seriously, why was that ever even possible?!?), or becoming high school dropouts, while also making sure we had a roof over our heads and food on the table. We didn’t learn to advocate for our own needs, because our needs came second to survival.
There are times when we need to vent about something that’s frustrating us, just to get it out. We don’t want someone to tell us how to fix something that is vexing us. We just need to feel heard. We need empathy to deal with health setbacks, career struggles, or relationship issues.
We need both emotional support AND a good (metaphorical) kick in the pants.
The first accountability group I joined, I only attended one session. Because there was no problem solving, only complaining. I realized that every session was going to devolve into an unproductive bitchfest.
When I started my own group, I wanted none of that. Practical talk only! No excuses. No whining. Let’s just get to work and kick some ass!
Neither one works. There needs to be room for the occasional nervous breakdown. Emotional support is just part of a group’s purpose.
AND there also needs to be a commitment from group members to not let it devolve into a place where that’s all it is.
A commitment to always returning to our purposes, individually and as a group.
Lately, I and some of my friends in the industry have been going through some pretty heavy stuff…besides health crises, there’ve been conflicts with neighbors, breakups, deaths of pets and family, financial difficulty, and career transitions. I feel like there needs to be a way to make sure everyone feels supported, while not getting totally off track.
When we get off track from our purpose, that can compound the other issues we might be going through. As a group, we need to empathize, and then guide each other back to solid ground where we can continue to make progress.
While I was still recovering from Covid (at times feeling like I’d been drugged and might fall over), I also started feeling ready to recommit and get back on track toward my goals.
Nothing like being forced to come to a dead halt to make you go “Wait just a gol’darn second! I was in MOTION!!! I want to achieve some things, dammit!”
Am I mad at myself about not writing for six months and abandoning the four people that regularly read my blog? A little, yes.
Am I going to forgive myself because I had a lot going on, including speaking at a conference, visiting family, starting a podcast, working my ass off to make up for losing my part time job, and trying to figure out how to start another business?
100% yes.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you
Earlier this summer, my friend Alison Young was diagnosed with breast cancer. Right afterward, she left to hike the Appalachian Trail. She had already had the trip planned, and didn’t want to miss out, so she went with her doctors’ blessing. After about two weeks, they asked her to return.
She came home to have a double mastectomy, and then spent all summer recovering. Luckily, she didn’t need additional treatment, so as soon as she could, she was right back out on the trail.
Solo thru-hiking is her happy place, and I am so happy that she has a purpose so strong that she feels driven to return to it again and again, no matter what life has thrown at her.
(Click here to follow Alison’s awesomely inspiring journeys at The Blissful Hiker)
We all need that kind of purpose.
The kind that excites and fulfills us so much, that no matter what is thrown at us, we come back even more inspired to keep after it.
Life can be a lot. It can be overwhelming.
When life sticks a dirty pitchfork in your metaphorical knee, scream your fucking head off! And then demand antibiotics, ice cream, and a few weeks off to recover and watch Hallmark movies, because no one needs sepsis of the soul.
While you’re doing that:
Keep your purpose top of mind.
Strive to surround yourself with people who care for you.
But most of all, care for yourself.
Until next time friends!
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Do you have a creative project or life goal collecting dust?
If you’re ready to face your fears and need some audacious accountability to make your dreams happen, I’m looking for a few more people interested in working with me for ten weeks this fall.
Email me at billiejo DOT konze AT gmail.com for more details.