If you’re anything like a lot of my friends, I’ll bet you frequently say things like “Well, we’re getting older” or “Ha! That’s the dementia kicking in” any time that you encounter a new physical limitation or maybe forget a name.
Me, I always want to say “Speak for yourself!”
Mildred is 96 years young, she’ll have you know!
I’m not in denial that I’m not a teenager, or even a 20-something anymore, but I do think that age is largely what we expect of it. We are told to expect aches and pains and ailments to increase as we get older, and so that is what we see.
When we get an injury, we blame it on age, and expect it to stick around. When we wake up with a crick in our neck, it’s no longer “I slept on it funny,” but “Well, I’m over 30, so I guess it’s all downhill from here…”
Okay, Eeyore, my grandmother had cancer for ten years, on and off, and worked in the clothing section of Walmart regularly during that time with nary a complaint, so I think we should ALL just get over ourselves a little bit.
Especially right now, when people say these things, I just want to retort, “It’s not age causing your back problems, it’s the fact that you haven’t exercised in the past year.”
When my back started hurting a few months ago, I knew it wasn’t that I’d suddenly aged ten years, but that I was SITTING. ALL THE TIME. Pre-pandemic, I walked at work between seven and sometimes twelve hours a day, five days a week.
Real footage of me at home during the past six months (not pictured: cat)
Now that I’m home all the time, I spend a lot more time sitting, and my body is suffering from that lack of movement.
Way back in college, I got a repetitive stress injury from working in the costume shop. Sharp pain shooting down my arm every time I lifted it.
And I can remember back to my full-time office job, sitting at a desk 40+ hours a week, back when I WAS a 20-something, and how I used to come home exhausted and in pain because humans aren’t meant to sit all the time like that!
And then working catering after I was laid off from the desk job, and getting to the point that I could barely walk because the trays I was lifting were way too heavy for my weak core, so I stressed my hip and had to get physical therapy.
These things aren’t age related—they’re habit related.
This week was rough for me. To be honest, I didn’t get nearly as much done as I usually do, and I have been chronically exhausted since the daylight saving time switcheroo.
Can we please stop messing with people’s internal clocks twice a year please? kthxbai
My habits weren’t great this week. I slept late every day, since my brain was saying “But we NORMALLY get up at this time…why is the clock lying to you?” It got cold and rainy here, so my long walks outside turned into long sits inside. My energy was nonexistent and no amount of caffeine would help.
Yesterday, I thought back…what has helped me in the past? There’s always a clue there.
About seven years ago, I moved and had a huge life change, and at the time, I took up HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) using an app on my phone. It’s great, because for me, if there is a barrier to getting started, then I might not do something (like leaving the house in -20 windchill to go to the gym? Nope).
I would set out my workout clothes the night before, and as soon as I woke up, I would put them on, go use the bathroom, and then go jump around and get really sweaty…
For a grand total of seven minutes.
I didn’t push myself too hard right away, because I knew I just needed to form the habit.
Seven minutes of HIIT can be brutal when you haven’t been exercising in a while. Heaving breaths, gasping for air, collapsing sweaty on the floor.
Why did I choose this image? Because fitness models are to working out what porn stars are to sex. Most of the stock images glamorize something that is inherently unglamorous and make our sweaty, exhausted selves feel shitty in comparison. Glorify the effort, the journey, not the end goal. You can only control the baby steps, so don’t make yourself feel bad that no matter how much effort you put in, you’re not going to look like the Rock, who’s got trainers, and nutritionists, and gets PAID to look like he does.
After a week or two of doing this every morning, all of a sudden it got a lot easier, and I could breeze through the seven minutes, and found myself craving more. “Well, I’m already here, so I may as well just do another round…”
And eventually, I got to three (and even four rounds once or twice) before I would stop.
But if I had tried to start there? I would have given up after the first day.
While your limitations might feel real, they’re a moveable target.
Today, I got up, put on my workout clothes, and I did one round of HIIT. I haven’t done it in about three years because I injured a tendon doing it one time, and so I’ve been afraid of going back to it. But I realized that MOST of the exercises don’t really affect my foot, and I only have to alter one of the exercises to accommodate my injury.
I don’t accept that the way I’ve been feeling is a symptom of getting older, or of the inevitable decline of my entirety of being. Fuck that.
The way I’ve been feeling is a symptom of my inactivity, how I’ve been eating, my loneliness and boredom in quarantine after a year of semi-isolation, etc.
My habits determine whether my limitations move in a positive or a negative direction.
Having only done seven minutes of a workout this morning, I already feel different. After my workout, I made a tasty yet fairly healthy breakfast (was it avocado toast? Why yes, yes it was), cleaned the kitchen, washed all the dishes, swept the floor, vacuumed the carpeted rooms and picked up some clutter, made simple syrup for the return of my stabby-faced speed demon birb friends, and put the patio back together. Then I sat and did a logic puzzle while drinking my coffee, and then came outside to sit in the sun and write.
#truth
Next time you find yourself arguing for your limitations or excusing them to yourself or others, take a look at WHY you’re doing that to yourself.
“I can’t” usually means “I’m afraid to try.”
In order to push your limits, you have to change your habits. That can be hard. Inertia is real, y’all.
And if you push back too hard and overdo it, you can sometimes find yourself retreating to the safety of your previous habits faster than you can blink.
But start to push back at your limitations gently and consistently, and you’ll probably be surprised at how much empowerment you start to feel in all sorts of areas of your life.
Have a great week, everyone! Let me know in the comments if I’ve inspired you to “Midwestern goodbye” your limitations to the door…
P.S. Here are some of my favorite stories of people not letting age or injury limit what they accomplish:
The surfer girl who lost an arm, but became a champion
The disabled veteran who regains his ability to walk through yoga
The 90-year old dancer who owned the dance floor with her Lindy Hop moves